Last night, I hit a wall. Considering I drive for a living with Lyft, I should both specify that I didn't literally hit a wall and also state, however, that it is not the best when you're on the road and you figuratively hit one too.
I had been up since 4:15 in the morning, and though I had gotten a nap in, I had been ambitious in thinking that I would be able to go to an hour past jersey closing time, roughly 3 in the morning. I had thought about taking another nap, but the cookie didn't crumble that way. So, as I headed back to Hoboken for that conceptualized nap, potentially arriving there by 12:30, I changed my tune and decided to get today started off right with 7-8 hours of sleep by going home. Three times throughout the night I checked the score of the game, first when the Mets had a 3-1 lead. It dawned on me I hadn't checked in a while, probably sometime in the 11 o clock hour, so I opened the app just in time for my eyes to roll at the 4-3 Snake score. Since I arrived home before seeing an alert of a Mets loss or otherwise, I parked the car and opened the app up, pleasantly surprised at the 5-4 affair with 2 runs having recently been scored. I was going to be able to either hear a late Mets win, or be around like all of you for another devastating Mets loss. At least I would be there. So, I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed with 1 out having already been gotten but a runner now on. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. I cannot remember if I heard the 2nd out or if I had fallen asleep before that as well, but when I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, it dawned on me I had knocked out before the final was understood. I got worried I was going to once more check my phone and see a devastating alert, one that referenced an Arizona walk-off win. I headed back to my sleeping quarters to check my phone I had not brought with me, and luckily, the 5-4 victory had been secured. Big sigh, back to sleep. Sometimes, no matter how hard the Mets train you throughout their existence to think otherwise, it all turns out alright. There is always, however, another game to secure the next day. Let us pray they figure out how to W more than L.
First of all, just want to say thank you once more to Bre of That Mets Chick for coming on A Metsian Podcast last night. Great episode. Realizing I haven't been acknowledging the guest on the blog the next day, so just wanted to start the habit of do so today. If you haven't listened yet, please do so here when you get a chance.
It was scripted to be an excruciating loss. There was no alternative ending.
I had my moments of following the game early, midway and the tailend. I was dropping off a Lyft passenger when the 9th inning "rally" was occurring, so naturally, after I dropped them off, I checked on the score. There on my At Bat screen was the fact the Mets had scored two runs and had the bases loaded.
On further review, however, the "final" had not been updated and the balls, strikes and outs read, "2-3, 3 out." That's called an end of the game, but the application had not finished computing quickly enough for this to be reported without still teasing me with those loaded bases. I exhaled in frustration, shook my head and went to pick up my next passenger. My next passenger, it turned out, was wearing a Mets hat and was a die-hard fan who had turned the game off when it was 6-4 because he knew they'd lose painfully and he takes everything so seriously he knew he'd be too emotional about it for hours on end after the game. It was a long ride so we commiserated with each other about this frustrating issue and that frustrating issue. The weird thing was we did it shaking our heads with a smile on our faces. As I've said before, misery loves company. Whether it is frustration over another injury to a star player, or a veteran star player we just got not performing the way his baseball card says. Whether it is inconsistencies in the front office or on the field. The same thing over and over again grows old, but our fandom does not. He was a man probably at least 15-30 years older than me but he still watches in September when the Mets are 20 games out. It doesn't matter that they've been doing this to him for so many years, he is going to show up and watch. I know I will be, even when it is hard to find time to sit down and pay attention to a full game. Here I am, unable to take the Mets in like seasons before, but there's no way I'll look away. And so it goes. Here's to the Mets. As excruciating as they can be.
On Saturday night, as the Mets got deeper into their extra inning loss to the Brewers that was the middle game of a weekend sweep, I was getting deeper and deeper into extra innings on the road. I was driving around on my rideshare game, picking up people as Quattro de Mayo turned into Cinco. I have no idea what the inning was that correlated with when I felt I needed a quick nap, but I couldn't even put the game on knowing I needed to get to sleep as soon as I could fall into it. When you're driving for a living, you have to be fully aware of the trouble signs.
It was 12:15 when I was able to pull over and grab my neck pillow. I set the alarm for 1 o Clock, putting on some classical music to soothe me to sleep after checking the score. When I woke up to finish up the bar scene, the Mets had lost. I had some strange feeling that this would be the alert I would see once I got back to my extra innings. It wasn't raining when I went to sleep, but it got literally right to it after I was up. Not raining when I rose...raining within ten seconds of me putting my drivers seat back into it's upright position. The only time the Mets or any baseball team can take a pause during extra innings is if it begins to rain. Looking at the results, it sure looks like the Mets could have used a snooze themselves. It wasn't until the next morning that I checked twitter that I had any idea of some of the details of how it all went down after the Mets took the lead in the 18th only to spit it back up in the bottom half. I had this to say on twitter about the weird yet weirdly satisfying way I woke up Sunday morning to my twitter feed feeding me the tweets from the exact moment the Mets lost.
And so it goes. The miserable way Saturday night ended was in company with a miserable weekend. The Mets managed in the last two games to buck the 1-run trend, but not enough for it to manifest a W in either. My pessimism is such that when Juan Lagares made it 3-2 yesterday with a solo shot, I said to myself, "That's the final score." It was manifested. Yet again as it was in 2018, Mickey Callaway got his team off to a good start only to be under .500 sometime thereafter. I cannot tell you what the threshold is for when he should be concerned for his job, but you cannot manage that way either way otherwise your job loss will indeed manifest itself. It is a sucky feeling knowing that the main reason the Mets keep finding themselves in baseball purgatory is because of the way their owners run this shop. We at A Metsian Podcast were able to give the Wilpons some credit for a change somewhere in our offseason podcasts. Syracuse was a great move. And some other stuff, too. That, however, was short lived, and we're staring down the barrel of the gun recognizing once more that this team, as I feared leading up to 2015, will never be able to get out of this rollercoaster pattern of good for two years, awful for six. I will always hope they prove me wrong someday, but that hope is better suited for other parts of my life. Jeez. I have to believe, don't I? Hard to do so when the evidence points elsewhere.
I was trying to take the signs as the arrived my way. Staying positive can sometimes be difficult but you need to not only do so for yourself, but I believe it helps others to push that positivity outwardly. Pay it forward. Some find that annoying, but obviously, there is a balance involved.
I was trying to hit a certain level of money for the week on my Lyft application so I could lay that foundation and go from there. After my lunch break, I was ready to build off of what I had done that morning, and low and behold, the first ride I received was a semi-long ride taking me from Nutley, NJ, to Perth Amboy.
From there I bounced around the area, being brought a bit west to the Edison area. All of a sudden I got a ride taking me all the way to Yonkers. It was hailed by a mother and her daughter who were looking for apartments together down there while staying at a hotel in the north-of-the-city-New-York-town. With an arrival time of 4:30, it was about an hour fare, one that put me over by 15 dollars the financial threshold I was looking for. I was thrilled, but now the real work for the week was to begin.
So, I put the fastest possible rush hour Jersey navigation on. Within 5 seconds of pulling out of the hotel parking lot, I saw a Planet Fitness right next door. I can visit any location in the country because of the plan I have that they offer. It works out well in my line of work. I had planned on going at some point that evening wherever my rides took me anyway. So, to avoid the rush hour traffic, I took it as a sign and pulled into their respective parking lot, ready to get my reps in.
The routine I've recently settled into is as follows: loosen up my muscles with the hydromassage, 1 set each of pull ups, push ups and sit ups, hit the treadmill for 25 minutes, another round of muscle reps, bike for 15, last round of muscle reps then back to cooling down with another massage. I was prepared to do all of this but when I got to the cardio section of this Yonkers PF, all the treadmills were taken, except one that was out of order. Another sign. Multiple people had been telling me I was looking skinny, and in analyzing what my workout routine had recently been, I realized that I may have been going too hard on the treadmill in congruence with staying disciplined on my changed diet (I've cut out bread and cheese most meals.) I have also not been offsetting that with enough ever-increasing amounts of muscle reps. So, I decided that losing close to 300 calories on the treadmill was not for this session (as well as cutting out the bike set), plus it meant I would be able to get back to work quicker as well. So, I went back to my spot on the crowded floor where I would continue to attempt to add muscle to my frame.
In this region of New York, I can fully accept how many Yankees hats there are. Whether it be Westchester, The Bronx, North Jersey, Washington Heights or Yonkers, this is the most obvious Yankee territory there should be in the entirety of North America. There weren't an obscene amount of Yankee hats, but they did pop up in this specific gym. As I got my reps started, however, into the stretching area walks a man in a blue, red-rimmed Phillies hat. With the impending 2nd game in the early season 3-game series, I literally said to myself, "I hope that's not an omen."
After finishing up my gym session around 6, I navigated back through the lightened traffic to a place in Jersey I had honed in for dinner. I ate dinner, caught up on the phone with my girlfriend, which happened to take me past the start time of last night's Mets-Phillies match. Just before I got back to work, I naturally checked the score.
And there it was.
A big, ugly 8 next to the Phillies in the 1st inning.
We had all been rather optimistic about Steven Matz, taking his last start as a sign that he was finally on his way, after all these years, to consistency. If he could just avoid injury and stay out of his head, he'll come into form, much like Zack Wheeler finally did in 2018. Last night, however, was not a good sign. Apparently, some errors were made behind him as well, but those are obviously things every Major League pitcher has to shake off.
I had hoped the Phillies hat in my peripheral would not be an omen of ugly things to come later that evening, but alas, I had let negative thoughts creep in my way. Obviously, it isn't my fault, because no matter how superstitious us sports fans are, it most likely doesn't affect a single thing when there are millions of us who think if we sit a certain way, or wear the same socks, or eat fried chicken before every game, the team will win a championship. I had hopes after seeing the 8 spot (which morphed into a 10-run 1st inning) that it would just be one of those Citizens Bank Park games and the Mets would prevail 12-11. 'Twas not meant to be, and the Mets now have an afternoon rubber game to play following a 14-3 defeat at the hands of the Phillies.
I guess I just have to avoid that Yonkers Planet Fitness from now on. For the Mets sake.
I envy folks like Jacob deGrom. From what we know of the pitcher, he’ll take a setback like last night's loss to the Twins, as angry as it will make him, and use it to make himself even better. He’ll analyze what he did wrong, even if certain things are out of his control, and go into the next start that much more determined to be the best possible Jacob deGrom he can be.
(Not sure where the photo went when I clicked on the link, but google said it was this link from nypost.com yet it's not on that page and so I got no mandatory credit to write. Take it up with them I like this photo too much for this post to not use it)
Even when things are out of my control, I struggle to keep the positivity and focus, not letting the negativity just completely ensconce with my emotional wherewithal. It always feels like 1 step forward, 3 steps back, and even though I will be reminded at a certain point that everything happens for a reason, I can’t help but feel my emotions get the best of me every time a setback occurs.
This morning, I woke up ready to drive Lyft after a fantastic day yesterday, one that got me more or less exactly where I wanted to be going into the middle of the week. Once I got on the road, however, I discovered my back tire so low it was at 12 PSI, which, if you’re city kid unaware of what this means, isn’t a good thing. Knowing I may be one pothole away from a flat one way or another and also knowing I needed an oil change today anyway, I tried to take it in stride. The negativity, however, just completely overwhelms me and I just feel like I’m always on the brink of completely losing it. I went to put air in the tire because I would just rather drive over to my local pep boys instead of being forced to change the tire (admittedly something this Manhattan kid has never done.) As I filled the tire up at the Speedway gas station in Hoboken, I saw exactly where the issue lied: a nail/screw at the top of the tire, the fates giving me the chance to glare directly at the issue based on where the tire was after I had rolled to a complete stop. As I filled it up, I could hear the air mocking me, expunging with a “hissing” sound, making me all that more upset. Instead of driving a couple hours before the oil change, I’d have to change my schedule completely, a benefit of the Lyft gig but annoying as I miss the morning rush that can be so lucrative.
I should, however, recognize immediately what moments like this provide me. They provide me reflection, the ability to build from these struggles and get some writing done, which I had planned on doing one way or another while the car soon hereafter had originally been planned on being serviced anyway. Maybe it is just my emotional immaturity and my nature to be dramatic in the moment, immediately thinking the worst about what this life throws my way. I am fully aware how blessed I am. Whether it is just the news filtered through places like Twitter or the TV or just the examples from some of the people I pick up as a rideshare driver, there are constant examples of how I have it relatively easy and how my life is substantially better than a lot of what this world gives a lot of other people. It just becomes hard for me to not consider that every step I take towards feeling better about myself and gaining more success in this world, the world just keeps pushing me 3-4 steps back.
Oh, I’m sorry…did you come here to read about the Mets? That could very well be one of the reasons I became a Mets fan in the first place; I feel I can relate to the rest of Mets fans and the Mets overall. After a game like yesterday, and at many different junctions the Mets find themselves at, the nature of Mets fans after the experiences we have gone through leads us to a “sky is falling” mentality. They’ve trained us to hope for the best but expect the worst, even though we also have the knowledge a miracle could be on the way. Reading the pulse of Mets fans last night, you could very well find plenty of examples of immediate remorse, immediate “woe is me” moods, immediate feelings of, “There goes the season.” If deGrom isn’t going to be our knight in shining armor that keeps us afloat at the top of the division, what do we have to look forward to? The thing is, once I’m back on the road, just like once the Mets play tonight, there will be something to remind us why all of this makes sense…why we love this team, or personally, why my schedule had to be rearranged this way. Even last night, there were glimpses of what to look forward to. Pete Alonso just continues to rake. The offense overall continued to fight, even through all the pitchers' struggles. Last night was just one of those games where no matter how hard you push to get closer to the goal of winning the game, the finish line just keeps being pushed back. The Twins’ runs continued to climb farther from where your runs stand. A failure like last night gives us a chance to be reminded of how remarkable Jacob deGrom has been 26 straight games. He will forever be listed next to one of the greatest pitchers to ever play this game, Bob Gibson, when the subject of “quality starts” is discussed. He may have not been able to break the record, but he sure reminds us of how Amazin’ this game can be, and how Amazin’ life overall can be even when the score continues to get away from us.
All I can do is remind myself of all the positivity I have in this world even as air slowly edges out of my back right tire. It’s all any of us can do.
On Wednesday night, as Jacob deGrom and the Mets took on the Marlins in Miami, I was driving around enjoying my #LyftLife having decided to keep the oldies going on Pandora Radio instead of putting the game on the radio. For some reason, and maybe it feels different during the day with the sun out, I just wanted the passengers to enjoy the grooves instead of subjecting them to a game they most likely weren't interested in. After all, no matter how much I like baseball and the Mets, not everybody does nor needs to hear the sweet sounds of baseball on the radio. Plus, as I said, it feels much more in tune during the day than when you are picking people up who may be going out for the night.
Throughout the game, MLB At Bat sends me certain alerts, most of which had to do with one particular man: Jacob deGrom. Even when referring to a fast offensive start, the alert read, "With deGrom on the mound and the Mets looking for a sweep in Miami, they take an early lead thanks to this smoked Amed Rosario RBI Triple" (more on that in a bit.) The most jaw dropping alert, however, was that deGrom had hit a homer in the massive Marlins Park, a visual I was most certainly anticipating viewing later on in the night. 'Twas impressive indeed.
More impressive, however, is how absolutely LOCKED IN our Cy Young Award winner is at this point in his career. Throw out your cynicism about it being the Marlins and such, 'cause we all know those pesky, flippin' fish will never allow us to easily pad our win total against them, no matter how much the league and its followers want you to believe they could be the worst team of all time in any given season. The highlight reel of deGrom's night is a thing of beauty, making sure you soak up an artist who has every brush, every color, every palate working, and it not only shows in the pitches batters cannot catch up to, but shows in the way he carries himself on the mound and as he strides towards the dugout after a strikeout. He's just that good right now, and we're watching a once in a lifetime talent quietly go about his business. His business, however, is so good, it is screaming at you to pay attention. Regarding Amed Rosario's triple, his approach is maturing and indicative of the overall approach of the offense that has been so impressive in the first six games. They are attacking the ball and going the other way. Whether it is Amed or newcomer Pete Alonso, there is a consistent approach us fans can pick up on, and whether it is just hitting coach Chili Davis or the overall offensive mantra they are going with post-Alderson era, I'm loving every minute of it and I hope and pray they don't get away from it. Jake the great is the boss right now. And we may finally have an offense that can support his impressive stuff. Have at it, fellas. Knock that ball all over the park. Just like Jake.
